I’m not doing that again in a hurry.

We all have our European friends who innocently drop the odd line such as “Oh, I think I might spend the weekend in Italy”. We all hear Americans state how their single 8 hour flight to the European continent is “long haul”.

Bitch, please.

If there is one thing us Aussies and Kiwis know all too well, it’s the tyranny of distance (extra points for getting the Split Enz reference – and thus the Geoffrey Blainey reference). The great PJK famously (infamously?) described Australia as being at the “arse-end of the world”, and when we want to travel beyond south-east Asia, it certainly seems like it.

Not actually me

Getting to Europe is a sordid affair of at least 24 hours in transit; usually more like 30. And that’s just the destinations that only require two flights. My lovely excursion to Tallinn took a little longer. It went something like this:

2018.10.23: Depart Melbourne 2245. Enter the travel time vortex: where keeping track of time zones, flight durations, stopovers, dates, and the rest, is rather pointless.

14hr 10min flight to Abu Dhabi.

3hr 15min stopover in Abu Dhabi. Enjoy a shower, massage, and nice breakfast in the lounge (all the years of toiling at work and earning that Velocity status came in useful).

6hr 15min flight to Munich. Land at about 1310 local time.

Begin ~8hr stopover in Munich, waiting for flight to Tallinn.

Waste time at Munich airport. Realise amount of sleep since 9am Tuesday is about 3 hours.

Fall asleep at flight gate. Miss flight to Tallinn.

Wake up at 2120; just 20 minutes after flight departed.

Collect suitcases, check in to airport Hilton.

Sleep.

Wake up at 0540 in order to catch 0910 flight to Tallinn.

Successfully board flight to Tallinn.

1230 Tallinn time: Finally arrive.

Whoops! At least I won’t need to do a trip like that again any time soon. Lesson learned.

Drew

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